Monday, 5 November 2012

The Young Lady's Guide to... Chick Flicks


Ah, chick flicks. You can’t help but love them! You can watch them when you’re happy, sad, pre-menstrual, post-menstrual, confused, lonely, bored, ambivalent, ecstatic… Pretty much any time! Here is my definitive list of the Top Ten Chick Flicks:

Mean Girls
I’m sorry that people are so jealous of me… But I can’t help it that I’m so popular!
In my opinion, the undisputed queen of Chick Flicks. Tina Fey; I love you! I do watch this film with a little bit of sadness – oh Lindsay Lohan! Whatever happened to you?! – but it always makes me laugh out loud, even though I can quote the whole film, start to finish.  I probably tell at least one person a day that “SHE DOESN’T EVEN GO HERE!” and am still waiting for “Fetch” to happen. If you haven’t seen this, you must have been living under a rock. Wait, scratch that; even if you’re “like a Martian”, I’m pretty sure you will have still seen this movie.



Clueless
You see how picky I am about my shoes and they only go on my feet!
I seriously wish I was Cher Horowitz. She may be “a virgin who can’t drive”, but she’s also a spoilt Valley Girl with a heart of gold. Based (loosely) on Jane Austen’s “Emma”, Clueless is a beautiful example of the awesomeness that was the 1990s. Plus, who hasn’t fallen for a guy who turned out to be gay, which then helped you realise you were actually in love with your ex-step-brother? Umm… Ok, maybe not… Doesn’t stop this film being awesome.

Bring it On
Cheerleaders are dancers who have gone retarded
Everything about this film is incredible. The put downs (you put the “lewd” in “deluded”), the 90s outfits, the cheering… Ah the cheers! I can literally spew every word to the opening cheer (all together now – I’m sexy! I’m cute! I’m popular to boot!) and this film never fails to get me off my bum and off to the gym. Absolutely brilliant; a must-see for all.

The Notebook
If you’re a bird, I’m a bird
I’ll give you two good reasons to watch this film; Ryan and Gosling. WHAT A BABE. Although I have to say I am a big James Marsden fan… Still, lucky Rachel McAdams getting both these blokes!! This film proves that true love conquers all and can weather anything; and if you break up with the guy you thought was ‘the love of your life’, if it’s meant to be he’ll build you a house then have a hot make-out session with you up against a wall/in the pouring rain at some point in the future – and if not, you can just get out there and find the guy who will. Win/win situation!



Legally Blonde
If I’m going to be a partner in a law firm by the time I’m 30, I need a boyfriend who’s not such a complete bonehead
Sorry, but who doesn’t want to be Elle Woods? A beautiful sorority girl follows her douche-y ex boyfriend to Harvard and finds out that being a Lawyer is actually her destiny. Elle shows that you can be gorgeous and smart, and that if people try to pigeon hole you into one of these things, the only thing allowing them to do so is you. Girl power!

Sex and the City
They say nothing lasts forever; dreams change, trends come and go, but friendships never go out of style
The first SATC movie (let’s just ignore that blip they called SATC2, yeah?) is, quite literally, amazing. It’s got everything you want from a chick flick; fashion, New York, sex, heartbreak, New York, best friends, lavish spending, New York, a wedding, New York, pooping your pants and, um… New York. What else do you need, people?!
  
Love Actually
To me, you are perfect.
While every part of this film is perfection, my favourite storyline is Liam Neeson’s plucky stepson Sam trying to win over his dream girl, Olivia. This is made even sweeter by the fact that they’re both about 11 years old. So yeah, he wouldn’t be able to learn the drums in about 4 weeks, and yeah he probably wouldn’t get through all that airport security in post-9/11 England… But this storyline is just amazing, showcasing that innocent love we all remember from our pre-facebook/myspace days. Ramping up the excellence of this film is the incredible cast of British greats, from Hugh Grant to Emma Thompson to Bill Nighy, the very British humour, and the fact that it’s Christmas, and who doesn’t love Christmas?


The Devil Wears Prada
I’m sorry, do you have some prior commitment? Some hideous skirt convention you have to go to?
I have a massive vendetta against Anne Hathaway, and this is one of the only movies she just cannot spoil. Perhaps it’s the combination of excellent performances from Stanley Tucci, Emily Blunt and the Goddess Formally Known As Meryl Streep. The job a million girls would kill for slowly kills the homely “fat girl” Andy, turning her into Haute Fashion Andrea. Watch it for the amazing combination of bitchiness from Emily & Meryl, literally attacking little Anne Hathaway from both sides, and try not to want to slap Adrien Grenier too hard when he freaks out on Andrea – he may be cute, but if my boyfriend was standing between me and my career, he’d have to hit the road.

Bridget Jones’ Diary
It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces
Although it pains me to say it, Texas-born Renee Zellwegger really was the perfect choice to play Britian’s favourite loveable fuckup, Bridget Jones. Bridget is the quintessential British 30-something; too many cigarettes, too much wine, too much food, and an unrequited love for her alcoholic, workaholic, sexaholic, commitment-phobic, peeping tom, megalomaniac, emotional fuck-wit, pervert of a boss, played also to perfection by Hugh Grant, for once not the bumbling English ‘nice-guy’. The highlight of this film? A brilliant fight scene between Hugh Grant and Colin Firth to the sounds of Geri “Ginger Spice” Halliwell’s cover of It’s Raining Men. Can it get much better?

Crazy, Stupid, Love
I will never stop trying. Because when you find the one… you never give up.
This is the only “chick flick” I have ever got (and probably ever will get) my boyfriend to watch. Not just watch; enjoy. Once again, the God who is also known as Ryan Gosling lights up the screen as a suave but damaged man, who takes Steve Carrell (here in his standard “middle-aged loser” role he plays so well) under his wing after his wife cruelly leaves him. I won’t ruin the AWESOME plot twist at the end, and will only underline how necessary it is to watch this film.

What films would you add to this list? Did I miss any? Let me know; theyoungladysguide@gmail.com

Love, 
Blaise

No comments:

Post a Comment